


Our Bruises

by SpoonDance



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoonDance/pseuds/SpoonDance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie and Maddie’s positions are switched… Sophie's abandoned by her family as Maddie's life is turning around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tattered Roots

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat short but that may be the regular for chapters of this fic. We'll see. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and that it's what some of you've been excited for. :]

It was the air that got to her. Out of everything, she hated how the wind whipped at her face. She was already feeling beaten down by everything and everyone she had loved and trusted, and now mother nature?

She didn't even know how she was still moving so fast. It felt as if she'd been running for ages, street after street after street until she didn't recognize a single piece of her surroundings. And she kept going. Because what else could she do? She had nowhere to go and had no idea what she should do. So she kept moving.

That burn in her heart and chest and throat was now accompanied by the ache in her muscles. It only seemed right that the entirety of who she was were to feel broken and used up. In her daze of hurt and confusion, she was lost. All she could do was keep running and running away from this hurt- this _agony_ riding at her back. She was terrified to feel it all so she just didn't stop.

Tears still streaked down her cheeks, dried, then ran again but she didn't break down and curl in on herself like she wanted. She kept going. Leaving the night behind and watching the sun rise blearily, gasping for a breath in the hope that it was a nightmare and this new day would find her home.

But she hadn't slept, she couldn't be waken and she had no home anymore.

Tripping in her weak state, she stumbled into a building and onto the sidewalk. And the impact jolted her into panic. She couldn't stop. She couldn't _feel_ everything chasing her and she scrambled to get back to her feet, a sob already at her throat. But she was up and running again, gulping in the air that kept slicing at her face.

The early mourn hours were dark and cold, as if the night was seeping into the day versus the dawn breaking through. Sophie walked down one street, turned onto another, walked three more blocks, turned again, and walked and walked and walked. If she created a maze of movement between herself and her once-home, maybe she could avoid it. Everything. Just keep walking and walking and fade into nothing.

At late noon she was swaying on her throbbing feet. She hadn't slept since her restless night before, hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, hadn't sat down since her stumble earlier. She was feeling about as dead to the world as the world felt to her. About. But she could barely move, barely keep her eyes focused and she knew she'd collapse if she didn't let herself rest. So she did. She found an isolated spot in a park and, trying to hide herself best she could, passed out behind a statue.

She was jostled awake by a copper. Or at least that's what it looked like from her delirium and she didn't stick around to find out, nor to hear anything called after her. She just ran. All hopes of continuing to just run the day -her life- away was thrown when she dizzily weaved in her steps. She felt sick and utterly destroyed. She wanted to give in and give up and run all at the same time.

But she couldn't think, just knew she needed to eat or drink or sleep. Probably all. And so she shakily searched her pockets and found a fiver. She had to bite her lip not to cry out in joy. At least she could eat something before she caved in on herself and let the world topple over anything left of the ruins that was her former life.

Looking to the strange surroundings, seeing nothing familiar or comforting or anything other than cold, she took a trembling breath. This was her life now.

 

.o.o.o.

 

She'd sunk into an alley, stomach feeling fuller than it ever has after a small portion of chips and comfier than sitting on a sofa. She was dead tired and couldn't physically move anymore. Mentally though, she was still running circles. She didn't want the events of the past day to catch up and crash down on her. She didn't want to have to deal with it all. To accept it had happened. To accept she had no one and no home.

She was homeless. She was alone. She was broken.

And she felt her insides start to fracture and splinter off, tearing into her heart and lungs and ribcage. She was burning yet so cold, trembling in the utter chaos of everything zoning in on her. She wasn't running anymore, couldn't physically, and so she had to feel it all. And she couldn't _breathe_.

She had been so nervous- no, petrified that what had happened would _actually_ happen. But she had hoped, gained some courage and confidence and had opened up. Bared the part of her heart she'd kept hidden for so long only to have it seared and shoved further into the depths of her broken self. She was detested by the very people she had loved and prayed would accept her.

It had been years since she'd realized, years of living a secluded life and treading lightly in the bright of day. Because she didn't know who she could trust and she knew her family wasn't keen on certain things. She was gay. And she'd come to accept herself, come to love herself because she knew it couldn't be helped how she felt. She _knew_.

But she also knew her parents never had kind words to say about queer individuals. Those few others living nearby who were out were rarely spoken to but jeered at in private. And when the rumours about her sexuality started, they wouldn't hear of it. Her mum going as far as to publicly -not so politely- mouthing off a woman who had spoken of said rumour. The real horrible thing about it was that the woman wasn't at all judgmental in her words, she was kindly and respectful even. Her own mother couldn't hear even the kind words as anything but an insult to her and her family. Because her daughter wasn't some “depraved lesbian”.

The rumour faded away, she assumed mostly do to her mum's temper, but things had returned to normal nonetheless. Her parents had even laughed about it after awhile and she had felt a hope rise in her she now wished had never invaded her. If it hadn't, it wouldn't have grown and she wouldn't have gathered the confidence to approach them, to come out to them. And they wouldn't have thrown her out.

She let out a sob as her mind spun with crying and screaming and pleading, feeling that gut-wrenching sickness split her open as once loving eyes turned to disgust. She felt as if she were falling back, trying to take it all back, make it stop. But the words had left her and so had her parents.

Clutching at her chest, she fought the screams waiting in her lungs; fought the words scraping along her skull and the terror piercing her spine. She didn't want to remember it but it was all she could hear, see, feel. Hell, she could still smell the chicken cooking in the kitchen, could still taste that bitter, thickness of anxiety. She couldn't escape it.

So she held herself, rocking back and forth with her sobs on the cold ground of a dark alleyway.

 

.o.o.o.

 

Trembling had become a constant state of being for her; from the cold, from hunger, from fear. She had forgotten what stillness felt like. She'd barely eaten, barely slept, and hadn't felt warm since that first night in her fit of raging sobs that had robbed her of all body heat. But she had a bounty of fear. Every face, every noise, every light had her heart lurching forward. Most of what she'd seen in the last couple days was stretches and stretches of sidewalk.

It had only been a couple days and she already felt so removed from memories of warmth and comfort and safety. She had run out of money though she had tried to ration it and her food. She'd run out of happy memories to keep her moving. She'd run out of strength. She was utterly lost in a world she had always seen the good in. Now it was all cold, harsh darkness.

She was shuffling along strange streets, as she does during the days – keep moving – when she happened to glance up and see a flyer. A soup kitchen nearby. For Christmas. She had all but forgotten the day, forgotten the season of giving and joy. Hated the thought of cheeriness now like never before but the promise of a full, hot meal? She tore the paper down and stared at the address.

 

.o.o.o.

 

A deep breath in. And out. Maddie stood at the door all too familiar to her. But this time, she wasn't seeking food an warmth and shelter for even a short moment. Another slow breath and she walked in, seeing all the faces that had once reflected her own. Her skin crawled in some sort of guilt. But she pushed on, steady footfalls toward the grinning face behind the serving line.

“Maddie!” she called, the only person who was ever as happy as her brother to see her. “You've come. I'm glad, now com'on, get back here. Works to be done!”

Nodding she stepped toward the entryway and hesitated. One step further and her world will really have split and flipped and she'd be in a space where she couldn't turn back from. She moved.

An apron was handed to her and she was put to work in the back, preparing the food and she eased up. She could do this. Distanced from her former life to forge ahead slowly but steadily. She had been told this step would be good for her and she had doubted it but promised to try. So she was here, trying.

She found herself breathing calmly and even sharing short, friendly words with the other volunteers. Polite if warm smiles and she didn't even grimace at those she was sure were only there for their good deed of the year. Because at least they were there. And besides, she doubted she herself would be back.

 

.o.o.o.

 

Eleanor had told her to take a break after a couple hours, forced her to really, so she shrugged and decided to grabbed a couple breaths of the sharp, chilled air. Pulling on her jacket as she walked out of the kitchen she ran into someone.

“Sorry, sorry!” she rushed, as she turned to see a -well pretty- girl with that look in her eye she was all too familiar with. Lost and broken.

“You're alright,” her voice was as dull as her eyes. “Ehm, so how does this work? Just jump in line?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” She glanced back at the line before taking in the girl once more, shuffling and shivering. “Just join in and they'll take care of ya.”

She saw the tightening of her jaw and knew the disbelief at the word 'care'.

“Ta,” she said softly, eyes on the line but slow to move.

The girl looked so drained and ill-suited to life on the street. Not in a lack of any mettle, just the look of a newly driven homeless. She could spot 'em from a distance. “Sorry if I'm pryin', but have you run off from home?”

She tensed and face hardened and she quickly backtracked, hands up in apology. “Sorry, none my business.” Eyes were cautious as they looked her up and down. “I'll leave you too it then.” Tilting her head to the line, she turned off form the girl, eyes lingering until fully walking away.

There was an itch at her spine as she walked away. That girl. That girl had been her years ago. It caused a tightness in the fibers of her muscles to know what could happen to her. The fear permanently cementing into her bones, the bruised to her skin, the hardening of her very being.

She shook her head as she opened the door to the crisp air.

 

.o.o.o.

 

She'd returned to the kitchen a while ago, eyes having glanced over the crowd to land on the girl sitting alone, and had endured another hour or so as the itch grew and grew to utter irritation. Turning from her work, she stepped up to Eleanor behind the serving counter, eyes once more finding the girl. She looked frightened and barely held together.

“Maddie?”

Remembering herself, she thought of why she stood there. What had she wanted? What would ease the itch? Another glance and she decided. “Ehm, I was wondering... Would you mind if I go chat?” She nodded her head in the general direction of the girl and Eleanor followed the motion and seemed to see what she did. Or at least part of what she did.

When she turned back she had a soft smile and warm voice. “I think that's a great idea.”

And so she pulled off her apron and moved out to the crowd she never wanted to enter again to seek out the girl for some ungodly reason.

Approaching carefully, she tried to sound harmless. “Mind if I sit?”

The girl startled, looking up from her plate and Maddie wondered if she'd up and run. But she swallowed and nodded but her eyes were still on her as if she felt herself to be prey.

“I'm Maddie.”

A pause stretched and wavered. “Sophie.”

Maddie nodded and tapped idly at the table. “So, this one time I had been sleeping in an apartment front entry, you know, off the sidewalk and sheltered from the rain. Anyway, I was dead tired and so I didn't wake up well early like I normally would. I was curled up in front of the door and snoring away when something bowled into my legs and a howl woke me. I jerked up to see this man, all suit and tie- proper toff, sprawled out on the pavement.” She grinned at the bewildered looking girl. “Well, he was red faced and belligerent when he rolled over and I was up and over him, legging it down the street before he even got an actual word out.”

With questioning eyes on her, she simply waited for some sort of response, a small smile on her face.

“Why you telling me this?” Her voice was as puzzled as her features.

She shrugged. “Just sharing some of my top moments from the streets.”

“You was homeless?”

“Yep, for a few years.”

She was skeptical, Maddie could see though she didn't know what about her said well-off or well adjusted. When the girl -Sophie- didn't say anything else, she decided to. “I only recently sorted my life. Well, not quite, but I've started.”

“And how'd you do that?” Maybe that was a spark of hope in the girl. Maddie hoped so.

“A friend lent a hand.” When shoulders slumped, she quickly added. “I was given a chance by someone kind enough to see more than thieving scum.” Sophie looked back to her. “Not everyone is bed in the world.”

Tension was back in the entire frame of the girl and the way she looked away and down, avoiding eye-contact and the catch in her throat. She was holding back tears.

Suddenly she stood and Maddie felt her heart clench, not wanting this girl to run back to the cold streets.

“I've got to go,” and she was turning, footsteps fast.

“Wait!”

But the girl quickened and was out the door a moment later.

 

.o.o.o.

 

Maddie sighed as she walked into her apartment. She was knackard and she knew it wasn't just from the work in the kitchen. Seeing and talking to that girl... it had really taken it's tole on her. Those trembles and those looks. She remembered them. Remembered every dark corner and sharp sound, remember the cold of the air and the world and remembered the crumbling of trust and hope. IT had made her who she is.

And she didn't like who she'd become.

She couldn't stand the idea of anyone else being so beaten and worn by life that they were _her_. That girl looked too kind in her movements to be stricken by the streets. Too much like her younger self, even after her home life she had still been mild compared to who she was now.

Falling onto the couch in her tiny apartment, she dropped her head back onto the back of the worn, creaky piece. Hand scrubbing at her face she sighed again. Part of her wished she hadn't gone to the kitchen at all, part of her hated letting that girl walk away, part of her wanting something she didn't even understand. To help someone else. Even if she still needed it herself.

Thoughts falling into place, Maddie decided. She was going back to that kitchen in hopes she'd see this Sophie again. What she'd do to help, she had no idea but her bones ached to try.

 

 


	2. The 'Not-Everyone's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm enjoying playing with this but look forward to writing more interaction between Sophie and Maddie in the next chapter!

_Not everyone is bad in the world._

Sophie tugged her jacket tighter around her, sat on a cold bench and trying to ignore the way she'd almost become use to the constant chattering of her teeth, her bones. It was getting dark and, as the light receded, the world appeared more akin to her mind. Dim and quiet with bursts of chaos. She felt frozen, not just from the cold but from _everything_. From her parent's eyes, from weakening dreams, from loss of hope, from life. As if she had always been water, easy if sometimes tempestuous, but finding ways to slip through cracks and take up as little space as possible. And as the cold fell on her, she tried to keep herself together but it felt as if everything in her was expanding and pressing her stomach, lungs, heart out and out and out. But still sealed in place.

And why? Because the world was filled with ignorant, hurtful, spiteful, cruel people. Because everything she'd believed about people, about the good in everyone, had been torn from her. If her own parents couldn't love her for something she had no control over, how could she believe the best in strangers anymore? How could she take kindness for kindness and smiles as friendly? The foundations of her belief in people, her family she loves, was ripped from beneath her and she's still plunging down the hill of whatever else she'd ever believed.

But yeah, not everyone in the world was _bad_. But no one was wholly good either. Not that she ever believed that anyone was perfect, but she had thought the good outweighed the bad in each person. Not everyone was bad. No one was good. She didn't know anything anymore.

And where did that leave her? Where was she between good and bad when she sat amidst it all trying to make sense of both.

She just felt frozen in and ever-growing nowhere.

 

.o.o.o.

 

Walking down the streets after the sun had left for the night, Sophie looked down at the black screen of her phone. She'd often debated calling someone; a friend, her sister, even her ex... But really, she couldn't call any of them. They were too entwined with her life on Coronation Street and to her parents. Now she was regretting feeling so safe and content keeping her life so condensed to such a small area. But she wasn't adventurous in that way. Now look at her, walking strange streets night after night.

She headed towards the soup kitchen as she toyed with her phone. A night or maybe two had passed since she'd been there on Christmas, having wanted to stay away. There was no real reason to it, but that girl... the one who had talked to her for no reason and tried to, what, cheer her up? Give her hope? She'd rattled the stones that had formed in her lungs, making her struggle for breath and lose composure. She didn't need someone else, some stranger she couldn't -wouldn't- trust, offering up more thoughts to mangle up her own.

And yet the promise of a hot meal and a warm place to sit for awhile was too tempting. And she was hungry and tired and just wanted a break. A short pause to just... sit. Nothing more.

So she walked and turned her phone on and off as she waited for her mind to change. On calling someone, on going to the soup kitchen, on walking anymore. But everything remained the same and she knew it would.

“Oi, let a mate use your phone, 'ey?” She was startled by the shout, head jerking up to see a guy walking towards her, hand out. She looked behind her to see who he was talking to only to see two other blokes. She swallowed thickly.

Eyes back to the first, he stood only a couple feet before her. She didn't like the look of that crooked smile.

“Ehm, sorry, no.” She tried her best to brush it all off and move around him but he steeped to block her path and that's when her heart screamed in a rush of fear.

“That's not very polite now is it?” He was looking from her to the two behind her but they all knew no answer was expected.

“I- I'm late. I really need to be going-”

“Yeah, you look like you've got somewhere important ta be,” he laughed and she cringed as he looked her up and down. “You look ta be street filth you. Got to find yourself a bin for the night?”

Fighting to stay calm and not cry or yell or try and run, Sophie remained silent, knuckles white about her phone. Her one last thing she had and the only link to anyone she ever cared about. But she could feel all of their eyes on her and her phone and didn't know what to do to prepare herself.

“Give it here.” His hand was out and looked as large and demanding as his voice had turned.

A small shake of her head, her voice as small as his was big, “No.”

He huffed, annoyed. “Com'on, just hand it over.” His fingers flickered impatiently and hers trembled in their grip.

She didn't move and his hand dropped, face hardening threateningly and she felt the same at her back. She felt them looming and knew it was foolish but it wasn't just her phone anymore. It had countless photos she couldn't bring herself to look at, it had the voices she couldn't listen to, it had messages she couldn't read. It was a memory. And, even if she refused to remember, she didn't want to lose the chance to.

A rage slithered up her spine but was stuttered by a hand gripping her arm from behind. Wrenching herself away, a fist was at her cheek and an arm around her throat a moment later.

_But not everyone was bad in the world._

 

.o.o.o.

 

It was her third night at the kitchen and she was starting to regret coming back. She didn't mind the actual work or being reminded of her time on the streets, actually liked the idea of helping those that still were, but every time she looked out the kitchen she felt a new weight she put on herself. So many faces but none the one she was wanting to see. Not the girl from Christmas.

Since that night, she'd only put more and more responsibility on herself. It was misplaced and ridiculous but she couldn't help it. She saw herself in the wary way her eyes darted about, saw her brother in the slump of her shoulders as she tried to make herself smaller, saw her mother in the dimness of her gaze. And so each time she looked out she felt a breath stolen from her in some absurd notion of failure.

She'd spent too much time on herself, something she hated doing but had to do to get to where she was. She guessed she needed to do something familiar: look after someone and feel guilty over every step. But really, she wanted to save someone from what she'd been through. Years of fear and hurt and guilt and anger and so many hidden tears. Of trying to survive but sacrificing what she could to protect others. Of hardening a shell she felt now fused to her skin. Of everything dark in the world turning her vision grey.

Deep down, perhaps she knew the truth to why she felt so obligated to this stranger. She did, but she didn't want to admit it so she'd push that away and focus on this mad plan to help a stranger to feel better about herself and her life.

Because she wanted to believe she was a good person.

 

.o.o.o.

 

Tossing her apron aside to take her break, Maddie walked out of the kitchen and cast another less-hopeful glance over the room. She slowed to a stop. That was her. Stood off to the side of the room, half turned away, but she knew it was her and she didn't know what it was she was feeling. Relief? But she noticed the lopsided slouch to her shoulders and her brow furrowed as the girl turned to sit and Maddie's heart jumped and felt as if it was beating her lungs in reproach.

The girl had one arm tucked protectively into herself and, though her jacket sleeve was pulled down, Maddie could see the beginnings of a bruise at her wrist. And though her face was mostly covered by her tangled, matted hair, Maddie felt her lungs bruise at the sight of an even more broken and blank expression on the girl. The girl she had promised herself not to reach that point.

She gulped and felt the bruise had reached her throat but ignored it as she moved forward, eyes on the down turned head. The closer she got, the weaker she felt. Because this wasn't suppose to happen. Whatever happened, it just wasn't suppose to happen to this girl.

“Sophie?” she spoke softly without realizing it, without realizing she stood before the girl.

She looked up surprisingly slowly, less jittery than the last time they'd spoke. Maddie feared it. And the rigid frailty in her eyes. She gulped again as long hair slipped back and back and blue and red filled her grey vision. Her heart thudded more painfully. Why had she let this happen? It was an irrational thought. She couldn't have helped or stopped it but still it's what her heart was yelling at her.

“What's happened to you?” She sounded more affected than she had wanted.

And this girl just stared at her for awhile, a flash of anger and pain passing over her in a cloud before she spoke. “The 'not-everyone's happened.”

Maddie was struck. Her words of their last conversation thrown back at her, a dull ache to the words.

She sat down before she fell. “Are you alright?” And her reply was another stare. “Right, 'course not.” What could she do? How could she help? “Can I have a look?” Maddie nodded to the angry bruise at her cheekbone and the blood seeping from the cut there. Sophie slid away and Maddie nodded. She understood but she was anxiously abuzz. This can't happen again.

They sat there, staring at each other. Both eyes holding a similarity both hated to see. And Maddie's mind was a flurry of fears and memories and 'not again's. A thought cut to the forefront of her mind and her spine locked in decision.

“If you need a place to stay, you're welcome to my place.” That seemed to startle the girl and Maddie hoped that was a good thing. “You'd be safe, I promise. And this,” she gestured to the injuries she could see, “won't happen again.”

Eyes were wide and the jitteriness was back and Maddie knew instantly she'd driven the girl further away even before said girl was pushing her seat back.

“I'm just trying to help.” It was nearly a plea. No. It _was_ a plea.

“Don't.” The word was firm despite the trembles in the fingertips. “You're making my mind a mess. More than it was already.”

Maddie didn't know how to reply to that, mouth open with absent words. What was so difficult about offered help? But she figured that was a bit hypocritical. She'd never trusted an offered hand and hated any attempt from another to aid her.

“Just leave me alone.” And she was standing, gaze hardening painfully. “Please.”

Once more the girl was rushed away from her of her own doing.

And she felt like the the guilt of everyone.

 


	3. Fearful Actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay on the chapter. And sorry if the end seems rushed, I just wanted to get this out!

She stumbled out of the door, the cold air engulfing her as a home she didn't want. But she ran to it, off down the street and towards somewhere... anywhere she'd come to know as familiar. A park or alley she'd slept in, some storefront she'd hidden from the rain under. It wasn't until she'd felt a sob choke her that she realized she was crying. And she hated herself for it.

Why was she crying? Why was she so weak? Why did that girl have to be there? She had just wanted to sit and be nothing in some warmth. Just for a little while. Just a moment.

As smothered and weak as her heart felt, it seemed the walls she'd started to build about it were a hazard. As if stones fell on top of her heart and tilted the entire wall precariously. And she struggled to breathe against the weight.

Tripping into a wall, Sophie hissed as pain shot through her and quickly withdrew into herself once more. The pain cutting through the fog only to leave a haze in it's wake. And with it, a dizziness that made her wilt into the wall; sagging with a sickness of body, heart, and mind.

She couldn't stop the winds in her mind as they whipped and tore and spun her. She couldn't stop the crushing of her heart. Couldn't stop the tears. Couldn't stop. Couldn't stop. Couldn't stop. Everything moved and rushed and lurched and she wanted to stand still. Wanted one solid moment. But she moved until she found a good enough spot to collapse and did just that. She curled in on herself even further than most nights; if she could do it just right or a bit harder, maybe she'd be compressed into nothing but a singular moment. Maybe she'd just stop.

And it was this girl, Maddie, who fueled the motion, kicked up the winds. Because she was trying to come to terms with the real facts of the world and this girl was causing her to falter.

The first question from the girl was if she had ran away. She hadn't wanted any questions and especially not that one. Because telling why she was on the streets was a too-large answer. She didn't trust explaining to anyone. And she's realizing that the more this girl shows concern, the more she wants to hide. She couldn't handle another slice of disgust and dismissal. She didn't want every eye to ever look at her to be tainted with knowing.

And she hated how her mind had turned on her. She was always the one to see the good and now she expected the worst.

If she's being honest with herself, the girl had startled her. In her casual way of talking, the questions asked of her she didn't want to hear, and how oddly gentle she seemed despite how she held herself. And how bright her eyes were, that cheeky lilt to her words, her singular dimple that was strikingly eye-catching.

Sophie dropped her head back against the wall, eyes shutting tightly in anger. She wished she could strangle her own heart. The first person to consider her in any non-aggressive manner, the first girl she comes in contact with after being kicked out for being gay, she has to find extremely attractive. No, her fluttering nerves at those worried eyes on her, her tight chest and twisting stomach were not wise. But what about her current situation said that she was wise?

.o.o.o.

She wakes to pain. At first she worries she's somehow re-injured her back and it hadn't taken hold of her 'til now, but then she shifted her legs. A relieved breath left her in a wheeze. And she cringed. And wheezed again.

As she struggled to lift herself, pain radiating through her body at every muscle used, she realized she hadn't just injured her arm. Her ribs were on fire in a deep, penetrating ache. She had to stay seated on the cold ground of the dirty alley for far longer than she had wanted but she couldn't move without fighting for air.

Eventually, she forced herself to move and nearly crumpled in sobs, tears in her eyes at the pain. But she couldn't stay there all day and she realized it was already late afternoon by how low the sun was. Roughly wiping at the tears, she leant against the wall for a time longer. Steadying her breath best she could and psyching herself up to move into the world.

It was when she found each step a tremendous effort, that her resolve started to shake.

She was too exhausted to properly heal from this on her own...

She needed to take up this Maddie's help.

Even if it were dangerous.

.o.o.o.

She stepped into the soup kitchen far earlier than she had ever ventured, but she need a warm place to sit and she needed calm. Or as calm as she could get with the bustle of bodies about her. But it wasn't the busy streets and she'd take what she could get.

Hours ticked by slowly, her eyes getting heavy, and she waited. She longer she sat there, the more her heart tightened. She had already given in and decided she needed to ask for help and that seemed to loosen her hold on her emotions. She found herself fighting off tears and she didn't know any reason she ought to in that moment because honestly, she should have cried all her tears by now. But she craved care and warmth and rest and she could taste it, as bitter as it seemed on her tongue. She didn't know how this would go and she feared her own actions. What if she over-stepped in asking for the girl's offered help? What if she couldn't take just one night of rest and needed to plea for more from this stranger? What if she stumbled and got too attached to a probably-straight girl who oddly cared for her safety? What if she was hated again?

What if?

As the evening crept in and the new throng of people filtered in, Sophie was straining to watch for the girl. And as time slowly drifted by, she started fearing she was too late to take up a kindness offered by the stranger. She almost felt her mind panicking on what she would do now, she hadn't thought of this possibility and how stupid was tha-

She had just walked in.

Sophie wanted to jump up and rush to her, beg for help and she hated that urge. And also that she physically couldn't. But she let the hate subside because she knew it was just the rush of relief and hope that spurred her to do something so... weak. Because she couldn’t be weak anymore.

She did move as quickly as she could toward the girl and was trying to take even breaths so as not to aggravate her ribs beyond her movements. As the girl slipped into the kitchen she wondered how to grab her attention without shouting. She didn't want the entirety of this building to know she was seeking the girl’s help. And she really didn't know why aside from keeping up a facade.

Entering the kitchen area seemed wholly forbidden, and it sort of was in the against-the-rules sort of way, but there were no bars or laser beams or even a door to stop her. But still she stood at the threshold and just stared in at this girl, hoping beyond hope she would just turn around and see her. She didn't want to ask someone to get her. She didn't want to talk to anyone but her. Because she felt she'd collapse if she had to address anyone other than the girl she had decided to trust. If minimally.

And, perhaps the world was tossing her a crumb of luck, Maddie happened to glance over her shoulder and halted. She stared a moment, turned and stared a couple more seconds before she appeared to remember herself and glanced behind her before walking swiftly towards the door where she stood. Sophie opened her mouth to speak but all rehearsed words were gone and all she could do was release a strained breath as she approached.

“Sophie?” Her voice was soft, yet there was an edge to it. An edge of worry, Sophie realized and she had to look down and away. “Um... how's your arm?”

Blinking, Sophie lifted her arm to look at blankly, trying to figure what to say: 'It's fine', 'Don't worry about it', 'It hurts like hell'. But then hands were in her view and they were soft on the skin of her wrist and she winced in surprise.

“Sorry,” Maddie rushed but she didn't pull her hands back. She smoothed them along her wrist and pressed here and there. Sophie’s mouth snapped shut. She hadn’t planned on this being a part of their interaction. “Does this hurt?” The girl asked, putting pressure along a bone in her wrist and the ache was dull but not not specific to that point so she shook her head. Soft fingers slid from her wrist to the back of her hand and over her palm to her fingertips and she bit her lip at how tender it felt.

She repeated her question throughout her ministrations and Sophie gave mute replies until Maddie finally nodded and her hands stopped. Then she had eyes back on hers and seemed waiting for whatever Sophie had come to say. Sophie just stared.

“Oh,” Maddie quickly withdrew her hands and took a small step back, fingers fidgeting at her sides. “Sorry, I uh.. I just wanted to check that it weren’t broken or anything.” She paused nervously and Sophie found the girl more interesting now than before - and she’d certainly been intrigued before. “Ehm, it’s not by the way. Broken.”

“Thanks…” Pulling her stare away, Sophie let her hand drop and re-steadied herself because she needed to do this and she couldn’t back down and why the hell did this girl have to throw her off? So she rushed, “I wanted to accept your offer.” The responding quirk of brows and slanted lips rattled her nerves further. She wished it would just know, she wished she didn’t have to spell it out. She wished this was easier. “To stay at your place. Only if it’s alright that is. I don’t want ta intrude or just assume or anything.”

She felt a rumble of words building, a rant on her tongue, but Maddie nodding her head caused her to slow. “Of course you’re still welcome.” She glanced around before asking, “Did you want to wait and eat, or did you want to go now?”

Sophie didn’t know how to answer. She honestly didn’t want to stay there any longer, she really only wanted sleep. But this girl had only just arrived and she didn’t want to put her out even more by asking to leave. So she just shrugged.

A short, scanning look and Maddie was taking a step back towards the kitchen. “We’ll leave now. Just give me a sec, yeah?” And she disappeared into the kitchen as Sophie stood there, both filled with relief and chaotic nerves. But she was exhausted and she hoped this was the right choice.

.o.o.o.

She was nervous. She wasn’t sure why exactly, what kind of nervous it was, but she was. Surprise still rattled around in her head; she hadn’t expected the girl to accept her offer, she hadn’t expected to even see the girl again. But she was not at all unhappy about it. She was relieved really. Because of that damn part of her brain telling her to help this girl. And Sophie looked even worse off than the last time she’d seen her.

They walked quietly down the street, Maddie noticing winces and wheezes but said nothing. If she was nervous, Sophie certainly was. So she just tried to keep the silence easy and not bearing down on them. Leading the way to giving this girl a rest.

She didn’t exactly live in the best area. Kinda sketchy but she’d taken care of herself for so long that it didn’t change her wary ways. But she could see Sophie becoming a little more tense as they walked and made a point to stay closer, an unspoken way of saying she was safe with her. Whether Sophie read the message or not wasn’t really determined.

Finally they reached her building and they were headed up in the grimy looking lift. As they made their way, Maddie watched Sophie hoping the state of the place wouldn’t change her mind. Not in the ‘not good enough’ way but the… kinda creepy atmosphere of the place. Because really, that’s what she thought at first too. But the girl was just looking around and following without any reluctance.

“Uh, it’s this one,” she directed, turning into a door and pulling out her key. Opening the door, she walked in and held the door open for sophie as she turned on the light. “So… welcome.”

As Sophie walked in and looked around, Maddie had an odd urge to look around as well. As if she had something to hide. But it was the same, empty, drab place as always. Nothing to hide. She owned little anyway. Maybe she ought to feel self-conscious about the place; no real effort has been put into the space - it wasn’t a mess but it wasn’t pristine nor was it very homey - but she didn’t. It was just a place to stay really.

“Not much, but it’s dry and relatively warm.” She shrugged as she shut the door, locking it for safety before realizing that could freak the girl out. A stranger inviting you home and locking the door after them? Yeah. “Ehm, it’s just these two locks if you need to like… go…?” And okay, she was feeling more and more awkward but the fact that Sophie didn’t seem bothered and only nodded in response, told her to calm down.

"You live here on your own?” The first words Sophie spoke since walking in and Maddie realized she really hadn’t told the girl anything but that she’d be safe. It was a wonder the girl accepted. Another glance and she knew the other must be completely drained and hurting. She’d just glad she accepted her help instead of some other’s who might not have been so true in their intentions.

“Yeah. Just me and the furniture.” She gave a smile and got the most minute one back. She’d take it. “Okay so, feel free to eat what you want or use what you need, yeah?” Sophie gave a nod but she could tell there was hesitation but she wouldn’t press it. “And you can sleep in my bed tonight. I’ll take the couch.” She almost stumbled over her last words from the sudden jump and look from the other girl. Flaming hell, she was coming off as a complete creep, wasn’t she?

“No. I couldn’t. I’ll take the couch, this is your home.” She looked so held together, both in how composed she was and how small she was making herself appear.

“‘Home’ is a strong word, but seriously, I don’t mind.”

“You’ve already given me a place to stay for the night, I don’t intend to intrude any further.”

Maddie didn’t think one night would be enough for the girl to heal properly before facing the streets again. And, honestly, she wanted to help her beyond healing. Give her the same chance she got not long ago. But she wasn’t going to bring all that up right now. Right now, this girl needed rest and a less chaotic night.

“Look, you obviously need some good sleep. You’re dead tired and hurt and I know just how hard it is to get proper rest when livin’ on the streets. I promise it’s not a problem at all.” She still looked about to argue so she added. “One good night will do a world of good. And, if it makes you feel any better, you can lock it from the inside. You know, if it makes you feel safer?”

She watched shoulders ease and head tilt. She wasn’t sure if she saw defeat there of relief.

“Well okay. If you’re sure?”

“I am. Now, I think we ought to get that wrist wrapped so ya don’t twist it any worse. That alright?” She was normally very candid and decided about her words and actions, but she knew she needed to soften her ways a bit around this worn girl.

Receiving a nod, Maddie turned with a quick word that she’d be back. She grabbed a bandage from her bathroom and came back to the main room to see Sophie had sat down on the couch. Well that was a step.

She sat down next to her, not too close, and held up the bandage. “Can I?” she asked, gesturing to the injured wrist and, after a still moment, Sophie was raising her wrist to her. “Just say if it feels to tight of anythin’” She began her work, careful to not be too rough but keeping the wrap secure and firm. Sophie didn’t move aside from a wince or two, but Maddie could almost feel the tension in her and she felt guilty, as if it were her fault. Even if she knew it was the streets, really, that did it. But she tried to work as fast as possible.

Finishing up and checking her work, she withdrew her hands and looked up to see Sophie’s eyes on her already. “Just be careful with it. It’s sprained pretty bad I think.”

A nod and Sophie opened her mouth but paused before licking her lips and trying again. “Thanks. For everything. It’s very kind of you.”

Maddie chuckled and shook her head. “I just know what it’s like and you looked like you needed the break.”

Sophie didn’t say anything to that, just looked down at her wrist and then around the room again and Maddie was sure she was just looking for a distraction.

“I won’t press or anything, but you can tell me what’s happened if you want. Why you’re on the streets or what happened with your wrist an’ all.” She expected sharp eyes but only got frightened ones which surprised her. And she needed to soften that fear. “I said I wouldn’t push it, I’m just saying you can talk if ya want. Just offering an ear or whatever.” Shrugging, she tried to make the offer more casual, hoping it’d ease the other again. “But for now, I think you need to sleep?”

Sophie sighed and looked almost as if she was melting with relief and Maddie just smiled. “Right, so like I said, use whatever you like - you can make yourself a triple decker sandwich in the middle of the night if you want.” That got a small smile. She felt victorious. “And I’ll be here if you need anything. Don’t worry about waking me.”

When the girl just nodded but didn’t make to move, Maddie realized she ought to make the first move; letting her know she could go, she knew needing a signal sometimes. So she stood and pointed down the hall. “Bedrooms at the end of the hall and loo’s on the right.”

Sophie was finally moving again and took a step towards the hall before turning to her. “Thanks. Ehm, goodnight.”

A smile and a “Night”, and Sophie was walking towards her room before closing the door behind her.

Maddie sighed as she collapsed onto her couch. Her nerves were abuzz and mind was flitting about. Because she got to help this girl like she had wanted to do. She was getting this girl some care and rest and it felt… good. But… but she didn’t know what to do next. Would Sophie run off the next morning. She knew she would had she been in the same position. She hoped not. There was a lot more help she could offer. A lot more she could do. She didn’t want to see this girl back on the streets with who knows what could happen to her next.

That strong urge to protect thrumming in her bones.

It wasn’t just that Sophie appeared new to the streets and struggling. It wasn’t just that she saw the hardening in her eyes. It wasn’t just her conscience telling her she needed to do this. It was all these things. And it was the way this stranger let her in.

 

 


End file.
